Let me start by stating that there are two components in this situation: Delivering feedback … and how to receive feedback effectively. Can we all agree that even when we clearly make every effort to understand that the feedback we’re receiving is essential to our development, and we want to trust that the person delivering wants us to succeed; it can activate a plethora of triggers … even some as high as feeling we’ve been socially or professionally threatened?
Feedback most often comes from someone who occupies a position of higher status – and that is especially hard to accept. But it’s input that comes from a peer or subordinate that is most often received as a threat. There is an anxiety level when you are not certain of the reason behind the input may make you view it as unfair especially … especially if you believe the commentary is based on wrong assumptions in reference to your behavior.
So “help yourself” to make it through your next feedback session. Here are a few tips:
Do you understand that the feeling of being threatened may not be the reality?
Could you accept that the commentary may be there to help you improve?
What if not everyone wants to show status power by giving input?
Is it possible that prejudging the giver’s intentions is unfair?
Have you built trust with those who are likely to give you feedback?
Finally, understand that you may decide to ask the feedback giver to stop at any point and state your need to absorb the input they’ve delivered up to that moment – but also, promise to return to the table as soon as you will have the opportunity to digest it as well as reflect on it.
Was that helpful? Any thoughts or coping skills you might want to add?
Until next time,
Yours truly,
Tommy Antonopoulos, Blogger for OfficeTime
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